Eyes Off the Storm

It had been a long day. Jesus had received news that John the Baptist, his cousin, his herald, the prophet who had baptized him, had been beheaded by Herod. He had tried to slip away to grieve. The crowd followed. By evening, five thousand men, plus women and children, had been fed by the lake from a boy's lunch.

Now Jesus does something strange. He sends the disciples ahead in the boat, dismisses the crowd, and goes up the mountain to pray, alone.

When evening came, he was there alone, but the boat by this time was a long way from the land, beaten by the waves, for the wind was against them.

-- Matthew 14:23-24

The disciples were experienced fishermen. This was not a panic-storm; it was a hard, contrary wind. They had been pulling against it for hours. In the fourth watch of the night, somewhere between three and six in the morning, Jesus comes to them, walking on the sea.

They are terrified. They think it is a ghost.

But immediately Jesus spoke to them, saying, 'Take heart; it is I. Do not be afraid.'

-- Matthew 14:27

In the Greek, it is I is ego eimi: I AM. The same name God spoke to Moses at the burning bush. Jesus is identifying himself by the name of the One who walked above the waters of chaos in Genesis. The storm is his element. The water is not opposing him.

Then Peter does something that no one in any other Gospel does.

And Peter answered him, 'Lord, if it is you, command me to come to you on the water.' He said, 'Come.' So Peter got out of the boat and walked on the water and came to Jesus.

-- Matthew 14:28-29

The text is quiet about it. He walked on the water. Then comes the famous turn.

But when he saw the wind, he was afraid, and beginning to sink he cried out, 'Lord, save me.' Jesus immediately reached out his hand and took hold of him.

-- Matthew 14:30-31

Notice when Peter sinks. Not when the wind picked up. He had been walking in the wind already. He sinks when he sees it. The point of failure was attention. The storm did not change. His eyes did.

Notice also Jesus' speed. Immediately. The hand was out before the lecture. The lecture, when it comes, is gentle. O you of little faith, why did you doubt?, and only after Peter is back in the boat.

Some of us live with a constant inner storm. Spiraling thoughts. Catastrophic forecasting. The mind that runs every scenario at once. The voice that says you will fail at this, you will lose them, you will end up alone. When the wind is loudest, our hand reaches for the thing that quiets it fastest. The screen, the bottle, the body, the next thing.

The story does not promise the wind will stop. Notice. Even after Jesus and Peter get into the boat, the wind ceases, but only then, after the rescue. The wind does not stop for the walking. The walking happens in the wind.

The point is the eyes.

Today, when the storm grows louder than the voice, look up. The voice is saying take heart; I AM. It does not get drowned out by the wind, only by your attention to it. Practice naming his presence, out loud, quietly, under your breath. You are here. You are God. The water is not opposing you. You are not opposing me.

If you sink, cry Lord, save me. It is the shortest prayer in the Gospels and one of the most reliable. The hand goes out before the lecture. Jesus is not standing on the surface watching you go under and waiting for a more eloquent prayer.

The thing your habit has been silencing is the voice that does not need to be silenced. Ego eimi. He is here.